because i just can't help it….
August 24th, 2005
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to be or not to be
August 20th, 2005
it is better to be dfl than to dnf
i learned this today .. it was a very difficult lesson to learn, but i learned it …
it was hard .. harder than i’d imagined .. and i wasn’t prepared … i cried .. i made deals with myself .. i dealt with alot of mental shit .. i wanted to dnf (did not finish) .. i wanted to dnf like i’ve never wanted to dnf before .. there was just no energy in my body ..
i had to decide, which would be easier for me to deal with… finishing the race more than an hour past my goal, or not finishing the race at all?
in the end, i finished that damn 48 mile race .. and i wasn’t even dfl (dead fucking last)
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